I Get It From My Mom: Authentic Conversations Between a Mother and Her Daughters on Parenting and Growing Up

Likes, Filters & FOMO: What Social Media Is Really Doing to Our Kids

• Elissa, Ava & Maggie Klein • Season 1 • Episode 9

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Likes, Filters & FOMO: What Social Media Is Really Doing to Our Kids

Episode Summary:
Social media has become more than just apps and scrolling—it's where kids form their identities, build friendships, and (sometimes) lose their sense of self. In this episode of I Get It From My Mom, Elissa, Ava, and Maggie dig into the real impact platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and even Threads have on tweens and teens.

Inspired by the Netflix documentary Adolescence, this candid conversation covers:
✅ When kids should get social media and how parents can prepare them
✅ Why likes, comments, and views can feel like self-worth
✅ How filters and comparison culture distort reality (even for adults)
✅ What cyberbullying can look like today and how to talk about it
✅ How to build real friendships in a world that feels curated

Whether you're raising kids in this digital era or trying to understand your own screen habits, this episode is packed with stories, perspectives, and some honest reflections—no filters included.

Takeaways & Challenges:
📌 Normalize open conversations about what kids are seeing and feeling online
📌 Help teens understand the difference between “real life” and the highlight reel
📌 Encourage mindful posting, boundary-setting, and digital detoxes
📌 Remind them—and yourself—that likes ≠ love

Connect With Us:
Follow our journey and join the conversation:
📸 Podcast Instagram: @i.get.it.from.mymom
🎥 Ava’s TikTok (college life, dorm hacks & real talk): @avamorgan.klein
🧵 Elissa’s Threads (parenting thoughts & unfiltered takes): @elissaaryn

🎧 Hit play, share with a parent or teen you love, and tell us—what’s your relationship with social media right now?

Welcome to, I Get it from my mom, where we have the conversations parents and children should be having, but sometimes avoid. I'm Alyssa, a mom who remembers life before selfies, likes and algorithms. I'm Ava and I've basically grown up on social media, middle school, high school, college, every stage, had a platform tied to it. I'm Maggie and in high school where social media plays a big role in everything we do. Today we're diving into social media, how it shaped the way kids grow up, connect, compare, and define themselves. Inspired by the Netflix show, Adolescence we're asking, is social media helping us grow or quietly wrecking our confidence? Let's get into it before someone posts about us first. So I obviously grew up well before cell phones and computers were even accessible, let alone social media, but for you it's been very different. Okay. So take me back. I know you were both given phones in fifth grade since that's when school was farther away and you were occasionally commuting without an adult and with some friends on the bus or subway. But when did you each get your first social media account, and do you remember your first posts or what you used it for? So my first social media account was Instagram. I remember, I think I got it in fifth grade because I remember being on the way home from school with my friend, and we were talking about how we're both allowed to get Instagram now. And I do remember that my first post was a picture of a bagel that I ate and I posted it and I think I said like Yum or something. Do you remember Mags? I mean, we had iPods even younger than that at like seven when we were allowed to take them to camp. And I think at that point I had musically, so I don't remember what my first post was, but I know I had that first. And what was musically like social media where you like music or share music? It's basically, it was like a TikTok type of thing where you dance and stuff. Okay. But in fifth grade, did you have Instagram too? By the time you really had a phone and stuff, do you remember? I don't think I got until later. Okay. So were your friends all on social media at the time? Ava, I know you mentioned certainly one friend was, but I also know others were definitely later on. And were any of your friends feeling left out since their parents wouldn't allow it? So I think I got Instagram and like Snapchat for the first time because other people had it, and that's when I asked you if I could have it, and that's when I got it. But I did have one friend specifically who wasn't allowed to have Instagram until eighth grade. And I remember it was like a really big deal when she finally made her account. Like we screen shared it to her TV and were so happy that she finally had Instagram. But yeah, I think that. It was at the point that if you didn't have a certain social media, you kind of felt a little left out. But it definitely wasn't as much as it is now because at that point it was like eight years ago. Yeah, makes sense. So we didn't monitor every minute of yours on social be media. Maybe we should have, but we insisted that you let us follow your posts, but we obviously couldn't say everything you were looking at or everything you even shared, because I think you both quickly created Finstas or fake Insta accounts. We've never been on Snapchat, so I know you have your whole lives on that. and you are far busier on social media than we used to be, although now I probably am worse than both of you. But we each watch Adolescence on Netflix individually a few weeks ago, which is phenomenally well done. For anyone who hasn't seen it, I do recommend it without giving too much away. It highlights some of the dangers of social media, bullying, feeling left out, having picture shared too publicly. Ruining self-confidence. So girls, when do you think is the right age for kids to have access to social media? And what role do you think parents should play in monitoring? I feel like at this point, all kids have social media, so it's hard to limit kids to not have it while they're still young. But I think there's a difference between like giving your kids a phone and having social media. But I think for social media specifically, I think a good age is like. 12 or 13 ish at this point. Once they're mature enough to know how to use it correctly and once they're mature enough to understand the dangers of it, and I think it's fair for parents to be monitor monitoring it if you think there's something to be scared of. But I feel like ours was never monitored and we were fine. Yeah, I definitely agree with Maggie. I think that, in this day and age, the idea of being able to keep your kids off of social media is honestly a little bit naive because even if you think your kids aren't on it, they probably have some way of being on it. And you know, social media is such a big part of today's world, and I think that. The important thing rather than the right age, because I think that that honestly could differ for different kids. I mean, I agree with Maggie. I think 12 and 13 would be an ideal age, but everyone is surrounded by different friends who have it at different times and might want it earlier or whatnot. I think that the important thing is educating kids about it, like. What the fact that things on social media aren't always true. The fact that you shouldn't be sending these types of pictures or texting these kinds of people, or, I think it's important to educate kids on that very early on because I think, you know, six year olds know what TikTok is, so it's kind of impossible to think you're gonna keep your kids off of social media. So I think that the better question is how. Can you prepare them for it? Because social media is not going away ever. All right. I, I mean, I think that's a good answer. So it may be it's individual by family or child. Don't be naive to think, as a parent that your children, I. Aren't on it, but most importantly, make sure your children understand the importance of it, what it means, how it's in the public forever, that type of thing when you're doing it. So for parents, you really need to make sure it's less about monitoring and more about maybe teaching, because I agree, I think. Monitoring super difficult, but there's been a lot in the news and a lot of commotion actually following Adolescence. And that was filmed and created in the uk And frankly, the UK government was quickly standing up to say, social media companies such as Meta who owns, Facebook and Insta and Threads and whatnot, or even the government have a responsibility to keep. Kids off of social media that we should make sure you're 18, for instance, before you sign up or 15 or whatever it is, and that the company should do more to make sure they're blocking when they realize someone might be a child. How do you guys feel about that? Where maybe the pressure's off the kid and the parents and it's the government or a private company getting involved? I had to do an assignment for global, like a few months back. Where? Global history? Yes. Global. Where we had to find a current event that was going on somewhere in another country. And the one me and my friend found was how Australia was trying to make like an age minimum for social media and it was supposed to be like 16 and they were gonna make intricate ways to try and see what age people are and try and make sure people are really the age they were thinking of it. And I know recently I think that had been passed, but. I think it is a big part of meta and also governments to make sure these things are being regulated. And while I mean on anything, there's always ways to bypass the, oh yes, I'm 16, oh yes, I'm 13, whatever the age requirement is. But I feel, feel like there is a responsibility to uphold of trying to keep people safe. You should wanna uphold on your website or app to create a safe space for people to use. Yeah. Funnily enough, I also just did a school project on this in a communications class I'm in. It was a little bit more about government regulation on social media versus social media companies. But look, I think I agree with Maggie. The truth of the matter is. As much as you try to put something in place and as much as companies like Meta can say, oh, but we don't allow people under the age of 16 on the app, so it's not our fault. There's always ways around that. And I also think that, you know, letting the government have responsibility over social media platforms kind of goes down a slippery slope of. Free speech, if that makes sense. A little bit like what are we allowing the government to regulate on apps that sh are kind of like a big social square, if that makes sense, where everyone's kind of just throwing out ideas all the time. But that can't always be the best place for kids. So I also think it goes back to. As much as you can wanna rely on companies in the government, I still think kids are gonna be able to get on social media and it goes back to the parents. I think those are both excellent points. When the government has come in or meta has been involved, frankly it's been much more about making sure that, there's not a pedophile issue of an adult talking to a child. But let's, actually turn our attention to kind of how we all use social media. Because if you go to Adolescence, this wasn't about an adult stalking a child in any way. It was about a bunch of 13 year olds, right? And just how they use social media. And so we'll, let's, let's kind of follow that path, but I appreciate one that you guys have thought about it and two even done kind of schoolwork around it. Because I think it's gonna keep going, growing and know. I know, Maggie, your interest in this often comes from a public policy standpoint. And Ava, your interest often comes from the social media communication standpoint. So it'll be interesting as both of you dive further into your interests and then what really happens with social media. We're gonna have some great debates over this over the years. So let's talk about the things no one wants to admit, right, how much social media is tied to people's need for attention. They care how many likes they get, how many comments, how many reposts? So how do you feel when a post does or doesn't get enough attention? No one likes when your post doesn't get enough attention. I mean, the truth of the matter is you're posting for people to see and you know, getting validation then from it or not can kind of impact how you think about what you post. Personally, I. Most of the things I post on TikTok are just for likes because I'm just posting college content or whatnot. Is it something I'm so. Interested in, no, not really about what things you should get for your dorm, but I'm posting it to get likes and attention and be able to partner with brands and put that on my resume. So I think, yeah, definitely followers and likes, and I don't think I'm the only one. I mean, I think everyone cares if you post a photo and it doesn't get likes. Suddenly you're like, oh, is this a bad picture And, and I think that's fair. So does your self-worth then feel tied to how people respond to you online by the number of likes? Do you know people who are very driven by this? I think I've seen people who will delete posts that don't get enough attention, and there's this pressure that having enough likes makes you seem more popular and interesting and fun, even if you're having a completely average day. When you just post something to specifically make it look like you're out doing something. When you're taking a walk with your mom to the grocery store, but you post a photo of what the street looks like in cars passing, it makes it look like you're doing something more interesting to get people's attention. And when that attention doesn't get given, it makes you feel like what you did wasn't good enough in a situation or it wasn't the right thing to do and now it makes you feel like you did something wrong. It is very something that like drives people to want to post or want to be somewhere or want to do something. Kind of to just quickly build on Maggie. I think also. As you get older, and especially at like the age Maggie and I are at now, this kind of stage of life, seeing people portray their lives on social media one way. Even, for example, looking at all the people I went to high school with in college and that's all I know about their experience in college. So it all looks so fun and dandy, but everyone is doing work and homework and things are hard and no one's at home So it's very easy to portray a life on social media that you're not actually living Yeah, I hate to say it, but even I get obsessed with the numbers of followers and likes. I'm each always asking each of you to post about the podcast and I'm been watching of course, how our listeners are going, but I've been trying to build my Threads account and we'll put in the show notes, my Threads account address, anything that's public, Ava's TikTok and the Instagram handle for this show. But it's been slow and frustrating to. What I consider to be helpful and insightful and clever, and of course, funny comments on parenting and whatnot, similar to the vibe we have here to kind of, you know, gain traction in that area. And I don't always get that much love for them, I have love for them, mom, thanks. You don't even follow my Threads actually, you're not on Threads. I don't, I don't have Threads, but you show me what you're gonna post every time. And I think they're funny. Thanks. Thanks. Yeah. Today my Insta Post really didn't get much, but anyway, apps are meant to keep users hooked, hooked to see validation, right? And I think that's what worries parents most. You're tying your self worth to something kind of fake and a view of yourself to external judgments and online interactions. I mean, yeah. Just to kind of tie it back to Adolescence for a second, the main character, Jamie, he's 13, he is convinced he's ugly because of what people say on social media. He even asked the court appointed psychologist if he thinks, if she thinks he is ugly. but yeah, I mean, I agree. I think unfortunately you kind of base the way you think about yourself on, based on social media because that's where you're. Communicating with so many people these days. But I also think that there's a positive to having access to seeing all different kinds of people. There's definitely tons of influencers who are positive and make you love who you are, but there's two sides of the spectrum. Even if no one's specifically telling you, oh, you're ugly. It's hard not to compare yourself at any age. I think that's totally fair. So I guess the question then is, are people posting for themselves or are they posting for others? Are they posting for the attention or because they wanna show something off, which I guess is attention again, what's driving posts, I think it's kind of a mix of both. I do think when you post something, you post things that you like and something that you thought looked good that you want other people to see. But I think something about it is the whole point of social media is posting it for other people to see, even if it's something you picked out, something you like looking at that you wanna share with other people. It, it is kind of a mix of when you post something you do want attention from other people for, you wanna know what people's opinions on it are gonna be. So even if you genuinely think it's something for yourself, it's something you did that you want other people to see, you wanna help other people with something, it does always draw back to what, how other people interact with it and how they will see it, and if they view it versus just. Oh, I like this. Let me save it forever on my social media. To that point, Maggie. And to what you said, before Ava, you know, when I was your age, we had real film cameras, right? You took a photo, hoped it turned out okay. Had no idea that was it. You'd submit it in to get process. And then eventually you'd see some photos and you hated most of them. But there was no editing, no filters, no face tune. Now it feels like everything is staged to look perfect. So let's talk about filters in editing. How often do you think people are really showing them real selves versus something filtered when it comes to, their photos or their videos? I don't think people are ever not showing their real selves, but also never really showing their true selves, even if they don't use literal filters, it's always posing and lighting and maybe slight editing or just a photo that you think shows off the best side of yourself. It becomes like a second nature. When you don't edit, it can feel like you're putting yourself at a disadvantage. Especially like if you are an influencer trying to get famous and trying to get views off of something. When you know you're comparing yourself to someone who doesn't their photos, it feels like you're not striving as far to be the best influencer you can be. It feels like you're not seeing someone's real face. You're seeing the things that they wanna highlight about themselves and what they want to show off or not show off. Yeah, I've seen girls re-edit the same pose five times before they publish it. You know, zooming in, fix their skin, change the lighting, slim their face. But I think I. It's kind of normal now. I had a group project in a class where we had to make a video of ourselves, like everyone in the group talking, and it was my job to edit it, and I got a DM from one of the girls in my class asking if I could edit her in the video when I was editing it together. And I was like. Huh? I mean, one,'cause it was a class project, but two, because you don't need to be edited this video. Who's the person seeing it? Our professor, like, I don't know. It just kind of felt weird. Which means that it seems so normal. And I can say, I sadly relate to this a little. I have no idea of how to filter or edit or pose even when it comes to videos or photos. And we haven't shared video recordings of these podcasts since I'm even uncomfortable showing my imperfectness on those videos. We do audio only. I have no problem walking around the city with no makeup and a baseball cap. My hair a mess, whatever. But it feels different when it's gonna be shared on social media forever to strangers, I guess. Not such a great role model, am I? No, mommy. Everyone wants to see a pretty face. Such a pretty face. Yeah, I think that nowadays it's kind of hard to tell the difference between social media and reality, especially with so many. Influencers when an influencer is different than a celebrity. Because what you're seeing from influencers is their own curated personality on social media versus like a celebrity. People are following them around paparazzi, like you see them being normal humans, but you really don't as much for a lot of influencers. And I think that, there are some people who don't post a video without a filter, and you know what if that makes you feel better, and plus like whatever, that's what the filters are for. Go ahead. But one thing I do like about TikTok and. I think it's important to say is that if you have a filter on on TikTok, you can see it as the viewer that someone has a filter on. So, use a beauty filter. If you're not feeling your best, go ahead. But at least the viewers can then see like, okay, there's a beauty filter on, so it's okay that. I don't look like this when I roll outta bed.'cause you don't either. Well on that. I think social media has gotten to a point where all these influencers film their videos before and they can edit it before, not directly on TikTok. Like people who make long videos of a Get Ready With Me a day, they usually film it on a regular camera or on a regular camera app. They can still go back and edit it and then edit all the clips together to post it on TikTok. So even if it looks like people. Don't have a filter on. That's kind of what social media is trying to hide or what influencers can hide at this point. That there are ways to bypass it when it says you're wearing a filter, maybe they don't want people to see that, but they can still fake it. So to that, whether it says that there's a filter there, which I agree is I think a good thing that TikTok uses. But to Maggie's point, there's probably still many ways of editing beyond that or before. Right. We still compare ourselves to what we're seeing in social media. And this is especially dangerous for young people, who don't yet have a strong confidence whose bodies and skin and, and hair are all going through lots of changes in those years between, 10 and 17 or 18. Their sense of self is emerging. So the fine line between aesthetic expression, let's call it, and toxic comparison is. Pretty, evident. And so, that's where I think the hard part comes in. Even as we talk about kids. How do you teach them that it's not real? And how do you keep anyone from comparing themselves to something that may not be real? I think similar to what Ava said before about how the influencers like wake up and make a video, and everyone's like, oh, you look like that when you wake up. But I think it's become a big thing to like pretend that you didn't try and look good when you actually did put in a lot of effort. Even if it's just posting a photo on Instagram. You took the photo 20 times and you chose the best one. When you film a TikTok, you film the same video five times and you choose the one that made you look the best. I mean, I do it too. I know everyone does, but I think people pretend they didn't try as hard to do something when they did. So it makes these young girls think that everything was so effortless for them and everything is so easy for them. When in reality it wasn't. And it makes, it feels like they have to try so much harder, but they shouldn't have to try to get to these same standards and to be the same camera. Ready. Look, and I think that's a good point. People on social media, are they really themselves or are they more of a character? And Ava give you credit. You've done a lot of TikTok videos. When you've had time. I know you've been a little sick and that weren't finals time, so not as much. But to me, at least, you look like you. You have the right lighting because that just makes the video look okay. But whether you're doing it, get ready with me, or you're talking about products or you're showing off your dorm room, I think you look like you. And so, I don't know how much magic or not you have on, but how have you thought about it? Do you think of yourself as some TikTok character, Ava Morgan Klein, or do you think I'm trying to be as real as I can be knowing that you're, sharing joyfully parts of your life? It's funny you say that actually, because, not that I think I portray myself as a different person whatsoever on social media, but. It's actually funny because in high school when I didn't know my friends and I had like started becoming close with all the girls that I'm friends with now. They all knew me as Ava Morgan Klein because that was my username on Instagram and I also think that, I have a good flowing name, so thanks for that mom. I mean, you're right, I don't use like editing or anything on my tiktoks. When I do the magic lighting is just me putting my phone up on my mirror and turning it on. I have like a Get Ready with Me video where my hair literally looks like a bird's nest and I look awful, but. I can't really speak to it so much because it's not like I'm such a huge influencer because the things I post, the people who see it are the people who know me. So if I was editing my photos crazy or using a crazy filter or something like that, and every video I. I think people would look at that and be like, okay, that's not her. Like, what are you doing? And I think that there might even be something to that, a little bit of like not wanting to edit because I don't want people to be like, oh, she's fake. So just, I'd rather, if I look bad, just be like, okay, yeah, I don't look my best right now, but like look good sometimes, like, I don't know. And you have an account where you're sharing real things. Let's talk about what you need for college. Let's talk about what I did over the weekend. Kinds of things. Anyway, it's not a fashionista glamor shoot. I mean I do post some content about clothing suggestions or whatever, but even in my day in my life video that I had done a little while ago, I know a lot of influencers get outta bed first and do their hair and whatever and then come back into bed. I literally turned my camera on right when I woke up'cause I decided I was gonna make that video the day before, still had my retainer in and everything. I truly was just getting out of bed. We're just proud. You're wearing your retainer still so. All right, so let's switch gears now to talk about friendship, because social media has completely changed rules on friendship, hasn't it? Yeah, I think it definitely does. Um, you know, I think that there's some positives to it. Definitely. The example I'll use is like a roommate in college. Most people find their roommate through social media. I think that's an amazing thing. You can meet someone from somewhere else. You can talk to people. There's always a positive to it. But it's also about. Seeing if your friend that you were with tagged you in the post and like, oh, who's with who? Oh, that person saw that. It kind of becomes a never ending loop a little bit. I think it also becomes not just what did happen to you, but also what didn't. Who didn't like your post? Who viewed your story but didn't like it? Who hung out with who and didn't have you in it? Who posted a photo, who posted at an event that you are at but didn't post a photo and you in it? Who is private story? Are you on who has who on what story? Who can see what part of themselves? It's easier to feel left out and it's easy to feel like you're not being included or again, just Comparing what you know about your friends. If you thought someone was your close friend, but you see they didn't post you, maybe that changes how you think about them. I mean, this sounds brutal. If I had to go through middle school and high school or and college with all of this, it's this whole. Added pressure to everything. What group chats are you're on, what are you not, what are these unspoken rules of friendships or not? So how do you protect friendships in all this? Or maybe better said, you know, what are the rules of friendship online. Isn't making sure you check with everyone that you're allowed to post. Do you make sure that you edit everyone in the post? Similarly, do you not post until you do? I mean, even with you girls, I know I tend to ask permission or give you examples of the photos I would use or say, which one would you rather? Because I don't want you getting upset if I was, just send something to the family or post it on Facebook to friends. I think it's kind of a difficult question. I guess you're right if I'm gonna post a picture with my friends in it, I'll text them and be like, Hey, can I post this? Everyone looks cute. But I don't know. I mean, I think the reason it's a tough question is because all we've ever really known is having friends in a social media world. So I can't really imagine. Not. Seeing people's posts or not knowing there's kind of a part of it, of you end up talking to people even a little less, I guess this is coming from me being in college because it's oh, I wonder what that person did today. Oh, well I saw it on their private story, so I know. So I'll talk to them later this week because I don't have to ask because I already know what's going on. So I don't really know what rules there are. Maggie brought up, who's not liking you, or if you're at an event and there's 10 of you, but only eight wind up in the photo and not the other two. What is that saying? Or people choice, fully choose these photos. So have you ever felt like, Maggie, I know you and your friends tend to, take pictures or videos and do funny things when you're together. Are some of your hangouts just too much of a photo shoot or too much of a TikTok trend? I don't think it's ever too much of it, but I think there is always a time when we're out with people and like someone has a digital camera, someone just has their phone where it does become, oh, let's go take pictures. Okay, you two go take. Okay. The third one will come in. Okay. You two go out, the fourth one will come in. I think there are times where becomes a lot of taking photos, but I don't think a friendship is ever just for photo ops or whatever. I'm someone who gets like sick of taking photos easily after a few, I'm done. But it is hard to sit there and just watch a bunch of your friends take photos when you don't wanna be in them, but then you feel like you're being left out. So are friendships only valid when they're actually on social media together? Because I think there's fun to social media, right? There's the connection, the creativity, the fun photo shoots, the fun dances, the everything. But at some point it also stops being fun that, you can use social media for bad, or it inadvertently makes you feel bad. So do you guys have example of kind of when you've been hurt. Social media? I mean, yeah, definitely. I think for me, the times when I'm like, God, I hate social media, is when I get fomo. Like when you see people doing fun things and you're oh, I'm not there. I'm not doing that. Oh, they get to go there. I don't get to go there. I'm not with those people. Those are my friends. That definitely is not fun to see. But one, people do things just for social media sometimes. But even just snap maps for example, having everyone's location, you could see, oh, all these people are together and I'm not there. And suddenly something you weren't even thinking about two minutes ago is now reeling around in my head? Right, that you see people together and, hey, why wasn't I invited? Or you see, a group of people in a photo and say, where would they all without me? Right? So even if things are maybe organic and not meant to be hurtful. You could see how you can maybe get insecure by just watching other people live their life on social media. That's the part I find heartbreaking. You go through your day, you're doing normal things, and then you open an app and suddenly you feel like you're not doing enough or you're not enough. Right. And a lot of that's invisible to parents. If we go back to Adolescence, and especially for 13 year olds, we don't see it happening. We don't see what you are seeing. So even to the, could I monitor your social media? Sure I could see your post, but unless I am you, I'm not seeing everything you're seeing. And frankly I don't wanna, that would be boring to me. But those are the things where I don't know how you are internalizing or how it's impacting you. And the thing that also adds to the pressure that has come to just deal with it, like if someone's being mean online or if you feel excluded, you're expected to brush it off and not really care.'cause it is in the unjust social media. It feels like it shouldn't be a big deal, even when it is something that really hurts people. And so let's talk about cyber bullying because that was a big theme in Adolescence. You know, not necessarily asking you your personal experiences, but what have you seen? I've definitely seen cyber bullying, not to people I know specifically. Like you could scroll on TikTok and there are tons of mean comments on every video for no reason. And it's just why do people feel the need to sit there and say something mean? I will never understand. I know it's a big trend in my school, and I know Ava has said it's in hers too, to have Instagram accounts where they have an open Google form where people can share drama or just how they feel about other people, and it's all anonymous and people feel like that's a safe space to say what they want about people. I've had things said to friends that may have have made them uncomfortable that are just weird things to say about people. And I know that's, it's hard to control when you don't know who it's coming from. People can't even say it to your face directly. People don't even wanna admit it. But it's just such like an easy way of cyberbullying to just start up if someone in your school starts an account that it spread so fast and it affects people so deeply, but. It's just so easy to happen. And that anonymous posting of rude things is awful. So, it's the emotional toll of this stuff that can be deep. Again, what parents can't see, and I think a lot of the parents assume that if their kid is quiet or seems okay, that. Everything must be fine. And to me, actually the most heartbreaking scene of Adolescence was the parents saying that they assumed their kid was safer at 13 years old, being home in the evenings with his door shut in his room than he'd ever be on the streets. But in the end, he was getting bullied online and being made to feel terrible and it wasn't so safe. And I think kids, probably don't know how to talk to their parents about these things, and they're having to carry that kind of thought on their own, which is terrible. So what would you say to someone going through that right now? If someone's dealing with bullying in some way? Is there someone they should talk to? Is there something they can do? Well, I mean, I think it's like any bullying, talk to someone. It can be hard, and I think that maybe you don't wanna tell a parent, you don't want social media taken away, whatever. But I think that no matter what, there's always someone there to support you. And even if it feels like you're alone, you're not. And also you can always mute people, block them protect your piece. You don't owe anyone anything or you don't owe anyone access to yourself online. Yeah, and I can add that you should never feel pressured to send photos of yourself to anyone, of course. Or to participate in any bullying. Please. Gosh, this social media world is scary. So for the parents listening, what do you recommend we do? I think parents should just check in, not in a, let me see your phone type of way, but how are you feeling lately? You can make it general. You can just ask general things. It doesn't have to be so specific, but you can just create a safe space for your kids to be honest, even if what they say is hard to hear and just so they know that when something does happen to be wrong, eventually they can go to you and tell you. So what advice would you give to younger kids just starting out on social media then? Think start slow. You don't need to have every app right away. Only follow people you know, have a private account For example, we have a younger cousin. She has a TikTok, but it's a private account and it's only like her friends and us family members who follow it. And it's parent regulated. I think that that's okay. I also think you should just remember, you don't have to post just'cause everyone else is sharing something. What you do can also be private. It can be quiet. That's allowed, you don't need to feel like to post, just to keep up with everyone else. Yeah. And for parents, I think talk about boundaries and talk about the good and the bad. Model, healthy habits yourselves. Schedule time for the family away from screens, and when your kids take a break supported and make it clear that you're following their accounts. As often as I can, I've, followed your close friends accounts'cause they post of you too. And I wanna see. And, get others to do. Okay, so why don't we end all this on a positive note. What's one good thing social media has brought to your life? I think social media has allowed you to stay close with friends. It allows you to be close, closer with people. I know I even mentioned Snapchat before and that can be a dangerous thing, but. When I go somewhere with my friends, I like being able to see who else is around in that area. Sometimes it does make you realize that people you know are also doing the same thing as you and people you may not see all the time, so you can go up and see them. I know I just had a bunch of friends text me for my birthday. I know it's a bunch of kids from camp I haven't talked to in months, and I was now able to reconnect with and talk to'em. So I think it does have you stay connected with people, especially when they're far away or you can't see them as often as your school friends. I mean, for me, truthfully, social media is my career. Like that is what my career is based around. It's how marketing has transformed in the world of social media. So, I guess the positive thing is that it's given me my interest. I think the whole world of it is going to change and evolve forever. But I mean, that's. What I'm majoring in. Yeah, let's keep it around forever then, if that's what you're studying. So what's one thing you would change about social media? Truthfully, I would take away filters. Hate to say it, hate to be the person, but just get rid of them. Like the funny filters are okay. I think those are hilarious,. I just think make people want to be their authentic selves more, rather than having it be so normalized to not be. I think it would be nice if it was also easier to step away without always feeling like you're missing out on things. And I also say that seeing a friend post on social media is not the same as speaking to them or seeing them in person. I mean, I've had high school reunions where I'm like, what's the point? I know everything about everyone because I see it on social media. And how terrible is that just because you comment or like someone's post. That's not a true conversation and that's not a true way to catch up or be involved with friends. I think we're all agreeing that, real life connections will always be far more meaningful. But again, there's great parts of social media too. So final verdict. Is social media helping kids connect or pulling them further from reality? I think we said the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. What matters most is that we keep talking about it honestly, and maybe with no filters, and maybe we all just need to remind ourselves. Likes aren't love and post isn't proof of happiness. And that the best moments in life probably aren't posted. Thank you girls for your honesty. I really, really appreciate it. And I know this wasn't an easy topic, but hopely you agree it's an important one. And if you like this episode, you know, follow, share, um, leave us a review because we don't need the algorithms approval, but hey, it helps us for sure. And tell us in the comments, what's your biggest challenge or your favorite thing about growing up on social media? See you next time for more honest and slightly chaotic conversations with our mom.