I Get It From My Mom: Authentic Conversations Between a Mother and Her Daughters on Parenting and Growing Up

Celebrating Ava at 19: A Firstborn's Journey and the Parenting Lessons Along the Way

• Elissa, Ava and Maggie Klein • Season 1 • Episode 12

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Join us for a very special birthday episode celebrating Ava turning 19! In this heartfelt journey through nearly two decades, Elissa shares the real story of raising Ava, her and David's firstborn—and how she taught them to be parents.

Ava's Journey Highlights:

  • Dramatic birth story and "juiciest baby" phase with reflux struggles
  • The legendary three-day potty training standoff that showed her determination
  • Finding her passion in softball, including a grand slam home run on her 15th birthday
  • Navigating multiple school changes and learning to advocate for herself
  • Health challenges, injuries, and social struggles that built her resilience
  • Brave decisions to leave situations that weren't serving her—from quitting softball to switching colleges

Key Takeaways for Parents:

  • How firstborns teach you to parent while you help shape them
  • The importance of letting kids advocate for themselves
  • Recognizing when it's time to support big changes
  • Why confidence means showing up even when things are hard

Plus: Hear Ava's thoughts on her future—career goals, relationships, friendships, and what kind of mom she wants to be.

Perfect for parents of firstborns and tweens and teens learning to trust their instincts. A celebration of growth, resilience, and figuring it out together.

Welcome back to, I Get It from My mom where we talk about everything moms and daughters should be talking about with a lot of honesty, some humor, and hopefully some wisdom along the way. And today is extra special because we're celebrating someone who is very important to both of us. My big sister Ava, who turns 19 this week. That's all right. It's all about me today. I mean, it's my birthday episode, so I think that's only fair. We did this for Maggie Swift 16, and now it's your turn. But honestly, Ava, your story deserves its own episode because you've been teaching us things from the moment you arrived. She's been the test dummy child. Hey, I like Guinea pig. Maybe prototype, like original OG version. That's what I'm thinking. Oh, OG is a good one. Yeah, the child who broke us in as parents and made us who we are today. So let's walk through 19 years of Ava. The highs, the lows, the scars and everything in between. All right. Enough of this. Let's get to the story of me. Ava, as you know, you were planned. After a few years of marriage. Dad and I decided it was time to shake things up. Forever, but I was terrified. The entire pregnancy as a first time mom, everything felt so fragile. I was superstitious. We didn't find out the gender, didn't set up the nursery till after you were born. Didn't have a baby shower. Didn't give my belly one of those weird nicknames. Nothing of the sort, you know, I had to keep you on your toes. Yes, always. Birth Wasn't so fun for me or for you. I went into labor in the middle of the night, 10 days early. I had no idea what Libra pains would feel like, but they were harsh and awful in back and front. Once I was fully dilated and ready to go, I pushed for over five hours, but to no avail, and we wound up in an emergency C-section situation'cause both of our blood pressures dropped. Very dramatic entrance for a very dramatic child. So she was very on that dramatic brand since day one. Thanks everybody. When the doctor finally said, here she is, I looked at dad and asked, did they say she, and when they held you up to me, still strapped to that surgical table. I shouted, it's David, because you looked exactly like your father uncanny resemblance that you still have today. Definitely. Get that a lot. Yep. You were born on May 29th, 2006. That was Memorial Day that year. Eight pounds, 20 inches, bald and beautiful. But your poor thing, you were born with a bruise on your head from the delivery and developed joice. Beautiful. Totally my fault. No birthing hips here. So for a few days you were under those bilirubin lights in the hospital. It kind of looks like an incubator that they put little chicks in. That's what I tell people. I was in an incubator. Yep. And you were so tiny and they had these like little eye masks. So the lights were in your eyes. It was the tiniest little eye mask. I had it for years. I don't even know what it is, but we just stare at you. Completely overwhelmed and in awe. We chose the name Ava Morgan just because we liked it not knowing how popular the name Ava would then become. Sorry about that. It's fine. And we named you Paia Miriam in Hebrew after your great grandparents. And then I was just so much more fun when you got to take me home. Yes. You didn't sleep for months as we talked about last week. The reflux, the crying, the late nights. You are our first everything. First diaper we changed. First baby. We fed and bathed. I got a baby nurse after the C-section since I was pretty beat up inside and outside. But we sent her home after three days because it felt weird, frankly, having someone else take care of our precious baby. Basically, Ava trained you to be a parent. Yes, exactly. Your first word for everything was ba babo. It meant bottle ball blocks. Barney, you know, the purple dinosaur. It sometimes meant grandpa for some reason that came out. Baba, you said dadda before mama. Which I'm still not over. Sorry. And I think the first real word we really remember was deuce. Which we think meant either juice or shoes. It was definitely juice. It was definitely juice, not shoes. No, definitely juice. Toddler. Ava was pure energy. You had 15 words by 15 months and never stopped singing or talking since. You loved Dora Barney, Sesame Street, anything with music, we listen to the Lori Ner Band and the Fresh Beat Band on repeat. I mean, I remember the Fresh Beat band, but I don't remember the Laurie Ner band. Yeah, well, lucky you. Because we even saw them live. Not a core memory for you. I guess. I remember when you used to perform little shows and always made me be the supporting characters. Someone had to appreciate my talent. It's hard to find it at that young of an age for a lot of people. I was running a whole production company out of our living room. I dress up as different characters, create elaborate storylines, and make mom and dad buy tickets to my performances because talent is not cheap. Yeah. I want my money back. Yes. You always love pretend play. We had to play kitchen and you would make us elaborate. Pretend breakfast. You would act as the waitress and take our orders and quote unquote write them down and then come back and cook. Would you complain about the food quality? And you would laugh and blame it on the kitchen. You even ran a pretend store outta my closet where you sell my own stuff back to me at ridiculous prices. You are very entrepreneurial. A girl's gotta make a living. I mean, come on. But this is also when we learned about Ava's need for planning and structure. You've always gotten anxious when you didn't know the schedule or what's happening. And even as a toddler, you like to know what was coming next. It's true. I still need to know the plan. She gets stressed if she doesn't even know what she's doing for the day or what time each meal is. Yeah. Well, speaking of challenges, potty training was an adventure with Ava. You learned to pee in the potty easily when you were two and a half. We did it over winter break actually. You had absolutely no interest in learning to poop in the potty. Oh, this is gonna be a fun story, isn't it? Yes. This is for everybody. It's great. Yeah. Pull up a chair or a potty seat. You would ask for a pull up specifically to poop in, so you knew when you had to go, and then you would go find something to hold onto. What can I hold onto? You actually had this like perfect spot at a bookshelf, still looking at the tv, and you stand and squeeze, and then you would laugh and run away. So we could have changed you, but eventually we decided no more diapers, but you refused to go. You actually held it in for three entire days. And yes, before others come after me. We checked with the pediatrician on this. You are crampy and gassy in preschool, you were clearly uncomfortable, but so stubborn. Finally, when you got home and were with grandma, you said, okay, enough already I can't take it. And you pooped in the potty and you never looked back. Clearly I commit fully to my decisions, even the bad ones. Yes but you were also such a sweet, big sister when Maggie came along. You let her follow you around, included her in your games, even if you were always the director and lead actor. In elementary school, you were a perfect student. Always well behaved, always raising your hand. You did well in school that your school even suggested you skipped the second grade. I do remember coming home and having that conversation about if I should skip the grade or not. Yeah, I don't think we were necessarily giving you the decision, but we said no because we didn't wanna rush your childhood and we want you to socially always be on track and feel good and have confidence, but you're always in the top reading and math groups always had your hands up with the answer nerd. Yeah. Back then. You tried dance and gymnastics and actually won the dance award in elementary school, which you were so proud of that you did not get from me. You've got amazing moves and hips that don't lie. And this is where you also learned that Aven injuries were gonna be a theme. Yep. Yeah, yeah. Here we go. Yes. When you were 18 months old, you fell in our apartment building hole away while I was watching you, and you have that scar in your face from it. Then when you were three the icicle, yes. An icicle fell off grandma's deck and it hit you right in the nose while you were playing under it. Another scar. And another moment where I questioned my parenting skills. Just so helpful because it really, nothing covers it up my whole life. No concealer will ever cover this big red dot on my nose. So thanks mama. So both of those happen when mom was watching you. I know how it sounds, but Eva has a gift for finding danger in very safe situations. I like to keep things interesting. Well, you got earring back stuck in your ears several times and had to get them removed. That was fun. Traumatized. Traumatized. And there was also the time you fainted and fell down our stairs cutting a bruise in your face. Thank goodness that one didn't leave too much of a mark right before graduation too. That was great. Yep. I was walking accident, waiting to happen, but I've always been a happy kid. Then at eight years old, daddy got you into softball. He was your coach for little league. That really was special. Having that thing that was just ours, you know? And I loved everything about it. The strategy, being part of a team, the competition, meeting new people, like everything. And what about the game did you really love? I love the mental game as much as the physical part. Reading the batter, calling plays as catcher, being in charge of the defense. You are a natural athlete, but you also worked hard at it and you had some incredible moments. Like the Grand Slam on my 15th birthday at that tournament, that was probably the highlight of my softball career, was like perfect timing. That's like something out of a movie. It went far over that wall. It honestly did feel pretty epic in the moment, but eventually I realized softball wasn't bringing me joy anymore. The coaches weren't supportive. My team had changes a lot, and it felt more like an obligation than something I love, sadly, that was a hard decision to walk away from something you'd invested so much time in. Yeah, but through my life I've definitely learned that just because you're good at something doesn't mean you have to keep doing it if it's not making you happy. Yep. You've always had a lot to say on and off the field. I'm vocal. Sue me. She never met a quiet moment she couldn't fill. Okay. Background noise is important. That's why I always have to have some sort of TV or music on. Silence is just weird. Even now, you know every word to every song. It's like you have an internal soundtrack running at all times. Music makes everything better. Speaking of how many times have you watched Mama Mia or Rent or listened to Hamilton? Oh, I don't even want to begin to try and count. No regrets. Middle school was tough. You were academically a bit bored and socially struggling. The girls were getting meaner and you just didn't feel like you fit. Yeah, I never really found my group there. I did theater and step team, which I did love, but it was kind of like a lonely time. Yep. That's when we made the decisions to switch schools after sixth grade. It wasn't easy, but we knew you needed more opportunities in a better social environment. Middle school is just the worst time for everyone. Right? It's true. I think we all will just collectively forget those years. Yeah. But this is where we saw your resilience and self-advocacy. You knew something wasn't right and you spoke about it, and that takes courage. I mean, I've never been afraid to say when something isn't working for me. So for high school, you tested into Brooklyn Tech, one of the more competitive high schools in New York City. Huge school, hour long subway commute each way. It was a big leap. And then COVID hit at the end of eighth grade, so my entire freshman year was remote. I didn't really get to be a high schooler until 10th grade. Plus I had COVID three times during high school. Three times. That's a lot. I know. I was kind of like a COVID magnet. Yep. But once you finally got back to school, you found your stride. You chose law and society as your major in a school that had a majors. You had softball again while you chose to do it, and by junior year you found a great group of girlfriends. Yeah, it's true. I feel like I've always been able to eventually find my people, whether it's my friends I made in high school or my close best friends that I've had since elementary school, that even though we go to different colleges, it hasn't changed our relationship at all. Speaking of colleges, your first year of college brought some health challenges too. Wanna talk about those? Yeah, definitely. Um, so I had strep twice. And one of the times I had strep, I also had the flu. And then I got mono. And I also had like an allergic reaction. One time I was in the ER like almost overnight. Yeah. It was, I basically lived in urgent care and spent way too many weeks bedridden. Yeah. That was so hard watching you deal with all that while trying to adjust to college life and we weren't there to help you. I didn't have nobody to take care of me. I know, but I got through it. You always do, and you've recently made another big decision. It's true. The college I was at freshman year isn't the right fit for me socially, or quite honestly, a little bit academically. I've learned that I need to trust my insects about things. If something doesn't feel right, I need to make a change. So that's what I'm doing. I'm transferring for the fall and I'm really excited. I think that's very mature. I mean, it might seem bad to just run away from your problems like that, but I think knowing what you want and what you wanna do is. A mature thing to do. Yeah. I trust my intuition. I know what I need to be happy and successful, and there's no point in staying somewhere that isn't doing what I need and not giving me the experience I want. I think it's a great call. So here you are at 19. You're still the talkative singing TV in the background, girl you've always been, but you've grown so much. You are beyond sweet with the best heart of anyone I know and hugely empathetic. You are so very family oriented and beyond supportive of your friends and us and Maggie. You feel everyone's happiness, but also their pains. It's interesting with a birthday in late May, you are a pure Gemini from day one. You've been sweet and happy. One minute, and then sad or anxious the next. Dual personalities like your twin sign. When I explained it to your pediatrician when you were like four or five, she called it, she said, Ava will feel life. She said, you'd be one of those people that will always embrace the highest highs and be the happiest and most excited about them, but then also feel the lowest lows and get sad and anxious. And boy has she been right. I get that. It's taken me a long time to control my emotions over things. I still try to be optimistic and love the highs and embrace great times, but I think I'm much better at handling the lows now. I don't cry when I'm leaving vacations anymore. Even, I remember that Ava would cry anytime we left vacations with the families. I don't wanna leave the beach. I want grandma and grandpa or why can't we have water slides wherever we go? I'll miss Wisconsin so much. Don't make me leave. Actually, it's w constant, Maggie, so just make sure. Yes, W's constant forever. You have this confident air about you, Ava, but it's genuine. You're not putting on a show. You really know who you are. And I don't think that's something that comes easily. I definitely have not always been a very confident person my whole life. I feel like everyone struggles with that in like middle and high school, but I don't know. I kind of just get the output on life that I am who I am and I can't change that. And so why not do the things that make me happy, surround myself with the people that make me happy and just. Be happy about who I am. It makes a lot of sense. You're brave, you're caring. You have an amazing heart. You've overcome obstacles that would knock other people down. I mean, I've had practice. Life keeps throwing curve balls, but you learn to swing and you're still obsessed with musicals. Obviously Broadway musicals are life. No apologies. Okay, so let's end with some questions about the future. These are off the cuff. So just answer whatever comes to mind. Where do you see yourself living after college? New York City for sure. I can't imagine living anywhere else. What kind of career do you wanna build? Something? Communications or marketing involving like social media? I don't fully know yet, but you know, related to what I'm majoring in. Do you wanna get married someday? I do. I'm not rushing to get married, but I definitely do wanna get married one day. Yes. And what will you look for in a partner? Someone nice and kind, maybe Rich would be great. Rich would be great. Rich would be great. Um, if anyone out there listening, if you're rich and cute, hit my line. But honestly, just someone who gets me and we like have the same vibe. I don't know. Do you want kids? Yes, I do want kids. Probably two after your speech about not being outnumbered. Probably two. And a dog of course, obviously. What kind of mom do you think you'll be? I think I'm gonna be like mom, like I You mean awesome and fabulous. Yeah. The best mom ever. Not truthfully. I think you've done basically everything, right? And I, and I look up to you, so I think I'm gonna be the same kind of mother you are. Even the maybe sometimes negative things. I think everyone gets what they get from their mom. I, I don't think I would do anything differently than you have. Well, we could just really wrap this right there. I mean, I love mom. Thank you baby. What do you value most in friendships? Loyalty, honesty, and people who are there for you and not fake. I don't like fake people. Where are your ideal vacation destinations? Um, well my favorite vacation will always be Casa Decapo in the Dominican Republic, but honestly, somewhere I haven't been like anywhere in Europe because I, anywhere in Europe or like beach or city. Um, I think if I'm talking Europe, maybe city, because I haven't seen any of it. So I wanna like see stuff about the culture and stuff. But if we're talking like regular vacations, I'm more of a beach person. What do you want your twenties to look like? Oh God. I don't even know. That's such a scary question.'cause that's next year. I mean, I want to get to travel. I want to enjoy college. I wanna graduate. I would love to be able to live alone. Not in my late twenties, only hopefully in my early twenties, but, well, that you're gonna have to be rich on your own too. Yeah. Mean, I know. I don't know if I wanna think about it yet. What's the most important thing you've learned in life so far? To be true to myself and that I, I'm someone who tends to get knocked down a lot and that I am not. I can't be the person who blames that for my problems. Like if that's gonna be the path that my life is on, I'm gonna still make the best of everything and control what I can control. And is there any advice for people our age or your age or somewhere in between? You're only young once. Just live life. Do what makes you happy and be around the people you wanna be with date, who you wanna date. Do whatever you want because you only get to be in college one time. That's my advice. But be safe, be responsible. Right? I don't, no, I mean, I mean it in like a be true to yourself way. Absolutely. Not in like, just not in a, like don't surround yourself with people you don't wanna be around because like then you're just wasting the time that you could be happy if that don't do drugs. Kids. What's your dream way to spend your 19th birthday? Uh, I don't really know. I feel it doesn't feel like my birthday. I mean, honestly, I'm cool with how I'm spending it this year. I would love to sleep in and that's not something I'm gonna get to do, but see a Broadway show, go to dinner, I'll hang out with my friends eventually and celebrate. Maggie and I are gonna go to Six Flags. Like all those things are things I like, so I'm good with that. Sounds great. Yeah. So Ava, I'm so proud of who you've become. You came into this world making your presence known, and you've been leading your own story ever since You are the best sister. Even when you're being a little extra sometimes, which is often. I still love you both and of course Dottie so much. Thank you for supporting me even when I'm changing schools again or getting injured again or having too many feelings about everything. Again, happy 19th birthday, Ava. You've taught us so much. We know we as parents don't get it all right nor perfect. But I hope you know we love you beyond words and we are so proud of the woman you've become. Don't ever change, especially your hugs. You give the best hugs. Thank you. Don't ever change those hugs. And we can't see, wait to see what the next chapter brings for you. Hopefully fewer trips to the doctor and maybe no friend drama. That sounds great. Let's not jinx it. True. And thanks everyone for listening to I Get It From My Mom. Be sure to wish Ava happy birthday in the comments or on her Insta handle. We'll be back next week with more honest conversations about life, family, and everything in between. And remember, confidence means showing up. Anyway, you probably get it from your mom. Bye bye.