I Get It From My Mom: Authentic Conversations Between a Mother and Her Daughters on Parenting and Growing Up

Pads, PMS & Period Panic: A Teen Survival Guide (With Mom)

• Elissa, Ava & Maggie Klein • Season 1 • Episode 13

Share episode

Send us a text

Pads, PMS & Period Panic: A Teen Survival Guide (With Mom)

Episode Summary:
Periods are natural—but the awkwardness, confusion, and panic that come with them? Totally avoidable. In this no-shame, no-secrets episode of I Get It From My Mom, Elissa and her daughters Ava (19) and Maggie (16) get real about all things menstruation.

From early signs of puberty to that first OMG moment, to cramps, culture, and the best products out there—this is the real talk every tween, teen, and parent needs to hear. The trio shares personal stories (yes, including leaks), tips for managing symptoms, and how to talk to boys, dads, and even your doctor without feeling weird.

Whether you're prepping your child, surviving your own cycle, or still hiding your tampon up your sleeve—this episode’s for you.

Topics include:

  • First periods and what to expect
  • Puberty signs parents shouldn’t ignore
  • Period products (pads, tampons, cups, etc.)
  • How PMS really feels—and how to handle it
  • Cultural traditions & period taboos
  • What we wish schools taught about menstruation

🩸 It’s time to ditch the shame and start the conversation.

Follow us:
Instagram: @i.get.it.from.mymom 
Threads: @elissa_igetitfrommymom 
TikTok: @elissa_igetitfrommymom and @avamorgan.klein

welcome back to, I Get It from My mom, where we tackle all the conversations parents and children should be having, but often don't. I'm Elissa, a mom of two amazing daughters, and today we're diving into a topic that deserves way more honesty and way less embarrassment: periods. I am Maggie. I'm 16 and I think that period shouldn't be a topic of weirdness anymore. I mean, almost half the world has them. So why are we acting like it's some big secret? And I'm Ava, I'm 19. And honestly, if you've ever had a period, will have one or have to parent someone through one. You need this episode. Because pretending it's a big secret helps no one. And trust me, college is way easier when you're not hiding. Tampons up your sleeve on the way to the bathroom. Exactly. Today we're talking about everything first, periods, symptoms, awkward moments, the cost, the politics, the science behind it, all of it. So whether you're on cycle day one, thinking about when it might happen, or just trying to support someone else, you're in the right place. And this is your official invitation. Ditch the shame. Grab a heating pad if you need it, and join the conversation because honestly, I wish I heard an episode like this before. I got my first period. Let's get into it. Okay, let's back up before the first pad, before the cramps, and let's discuss what a period even is because commercials showing blue, liquid being poured into what looks like diapers or women riding horses and white pants don't really explain much, right? So science moment, woo. A period is part of the menstrual cycle, which prepares the body for pregnancy each month. When a pregnancy doesn't happen, ladies does not happen. It's the shedding of the uterine lining. So your body builds up this nice cushioning lion leaning in case an egg gets fertilized. But since it doesn't, your body says, well, we don't need this anymore. And out it goes. But puberty actually starts much earlier than when periods begin. Do you remember those early signs that you noticed that parents and kids should watch for? Yeah. I remember being confused about the changes happening and sometimes even frustrated way before my first period came. Yep. Breast buds, I think they're called are usually the first sign. Girls around nine or 10 may start to get kind of puffier nipple areas, which are the beginning of puberty. Depending on body shape, it could be two to three years to more years before a period starts. Yeah, that's kind of like that awkward age where you're wearing like the camisole training bra bras, basically tank tops because it was kind of noticeable in like light colored, thin shirts And body hair starts growing in new places. I noticed hair in all places of my body more than a year before my period even started. If there's also a growth spurt that usually happens, girls often grow taller at a faster rate ahead of their period, especially faster than boys. Yep. Although parents don't fret too much about this, I was actually very worried that you girls would be super short forever since you didn't necessarily shoot up before your periods and by the time your periods came. I was a little concerned you weren't really averages height even for our family, but you both grew like two to three inches for a year or two afterwards, so at least you're now very good heights. And so don't be too concerned about what height your child is as soon as that period comes, there's time. And don't forget about body order, when people suddenly had to start wearing deodorant when they never needed it before. Yep. Parents, these early signs are your cue to start conversations about periods. Even if they seem years away, the research shows that the time between first breast development and first period is typically two to three years. It can be as long as six years, but let's get our girls ready, which brings up a great point. There's this strange competition sometimes. Either you don't wanna be the first, you don't wanna be the last to get it, but obviously everyone's body has its own schedule. Well, what's considered average or normal, because everyone seems to be on a different schedule. I did look this up and it says the average age for menstruation in the US is around 12.4 years old, but anything between nine and 16 is actually considered normal. And that's a very big range. And I feel like my periods were super irregular for the first few years. My cycle was like 21 days, one month, and 45 the next. I mean, I feel like that's normal too, while your body's kind of figuring things out. Frankly, that still kind of happens to me. Mine were actually differently. Regular. Right away. I had one the first month, the second month and every month from then on I was never gone two months without one and never had two very close together. Mine was pretty regular from the start. Alright, you special. Clearly, but that's why tracking can be helpful and there's I think some apps for that too, but also why we. Flow. Flow. Flow, okay. FO flow. If you wanna come sponsor us. That's what I use. We're touting you FLO, but that's why, you know, again, tracking could be helpful because it's all our bodies are different and we need to be patient'cause they're doing very complicated work. But I think most important for parents and children to recognize is that this is all normal. Puberty happens and there's no reason to be embarrassed or ignore it. Embrace it. If your breasts are growing, then be sure to shop for bras or supportive tank tops. If you need to start shaving, grab a razor. If your child has body odor, be sure to buy them. Deodorant, please. We thank you for it. I can't tell you how many moms I've seen in Facebook parenting groups not willing to let their daughter shave or use deodorant.'cause they just feel they're too young, even though the kids want it. And that to me just sets your child up for shame of their body and around other people, and that's just silly. Alright. Let's talk first periods because that's one of those moments that lives rent free in your brain forever. Everyone remember their first period? I do. I was about 12 and a half years old. I noticed a stain in my underwear in the evening and called my mother into the bathroom. I knew what it was, but I was confused and scared about it. Anyway, I hid in my bedroom after that. We had plans the next day to go on our cousin's boat, and I was so embarrassed by it all that I just lied in the front of the boat all day, not talking to anyone with shorts over my bailing suit, and as a result I got so super sunburned because I was hiding away in the sun. Personally for me, I was exactly 12 and a half. It was on my 12 and a half birthday. I really don't remember exactly how it happened. I think I just kind of felt like a weird feeling and thought maybe I peed my pants. But no, it was just my period. But I, being my dramatic self, um, I was terrified. I cried in the bathroom. I think I like, took a shower and cried the whole shower. Like I just. Cried for a very long time when I got my period. Yeah. A you weren't upset or scared, you just said like, I don't want this, and I get it. It's a big change. It's very overwhelming. Mine came when I was 11 and a half, lucky me. And I actually noticed it. I had gone to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I had noticed it, but I didn't say anything'cause. I kind of like, I didn't wanna wake him up and I was still kind of scared. And then I woke up the next morning knowing I already had it and kinda went, mom, I think I got my period. You had packed me a pad, wipes in a note.'cause I still had to go to school that day. And honestly that made a difference. That's a big parenting tip right there. Prepare your children before it happens. Don't wait until it's urgent. Have the conversation early. Make it normal and give them the supplies they might need. I remember sending you both to sleepaway camp and to school. Armed with information and supplies just in case. And if I could tell my younger self something, it would be not to freak out about using tampons. I was so intimidated by them at first, but they actually give me so much more freedom once I figured them out. I started with pads like I feel like everyone else does, but switch to tampons a few months in when summer was coming up. Figure them out. Afe, I'm still traumatized by doing a demo for you of a tampon. We're both, we're both traumatized. So how did you feel when it finally happened? Were you guys excited, nervous, grossed out? I don't really remember. I think I was a little scared because I was also like the first of my close friends to get it. As far as you know, as far as I, well, I, I now know in the future when they got theirs, I was the first of them to get it. but I was more just like annoyed because it's just so inconvenient and annoying. I mean, I think, I, I don't wanna say handle situations better than Ava, but get less freaked out over them. And especially after Ava already getting hers. We had talked about it a lot and I had been there for mommy's whole talk to Ava for her first one, even though it was like two or two years before I got mine. So I kind of was like prepared for it. I mean it feels weirdly grown up.'cause I also got mine younger than you two had had. And I think also before most of my close friends, from what I remember, but like it was kind of like you, you feel so prepared, but then also at the same time you're so unprepared. Like you knew the biology. But you never know the practical stuff. You don't always know what to expect, especially since it's different for everybody. Yeah. Like how often to change a pad or what to do at night or even just like all the things you personally will feel. Yeah. And that's why we're making this episode because the biology is important and you're all taught that in health class or in science at some point in school when they separate the boys and girls. Right. But so are the everyday details that make living with periods easier. I actually missed out on my first health class for periods'cause of COVID. We were supposed to have it, but we had like started with puberty and we never got to the period unit. Now let's get into the symptoms. Cramps, bloating, mood swings, headaches, fatigue. It's a lot. And it's not just in our heads, there's a real biology happening. I think I get what's called a rage fog. I don't even like feel myself, I can just get really easily mad or tired or upset last month. I get like theories just'cause someone like breathed too loudly or talked too loudly near me and that's not so normal for me. Yeah, I get really bad cramps. I get them both, like for the first two days of my period, I get them like midway through my cycle sometimes. I know when I started my period, I had really bad cramps. I had really heavy periods, but I actually have been on birth control for. Years. So God knows what it would be like if I wasn't, because I can't even imagine. Yeah. And some people get really headachey or just ache you all over. Yeah. The symptoms don't really, I do suck. So here's the thing. No one prepares you for how much it can affect your mind and your body. And it is different for everyone. I think. Let's talk about the science for a second, because understanding what's happening helps me deal with it better. Absolutely. Science moment. Dr. Mama. So during your period, don't be so excited girls. So during your period, your hormones, so your estrogen and your progesterone levels drop dramatically, and this affects serotonin and dopamine, which you may know is kind of those feel good chemicals, which is why your mood changes are really valid, right? Your, your hormones are going down, your. Dopamine not doing what it should. And so moodiness and achiness and crankiness are all normal. And something like 90% of people who menstruate experience at least one PMM S symptom, even if it's just like a light headache. So if you feel off before your period, you're definitely not alone. Yeah, I mean we talked about it before, but I feel like tracking my cycle definitely helps a lot. It kind of just reminds me like, oh, be ready. You're gonna be on your period. But I think anything like even my birth control reminds me when I'm supposed to get my period, if it's normal that week. So let's share some practical tips for dealing with symptoms. Heating pads are absolute magic for cramps. Yeah, I have a microwaveable one that I literally cannot live without and I feel like I kind of just rely on like pain relievers, Aleve, naproxen definitely help, but sometimes you just gotta thug it out. So what's your go-to period survival routine? Um, get pissed off that I'm on my period. Wear loose fitting clothes and take a handful of Advil. Pain relievers all day, every day. And text my friends in the morning before school saying that I don't know what to wear and I don't want to go to school. And sometimes that feels like I'm dying, even though I know I'm not. But it helps to have someone who knows how I'm feeling. So during the day, if I'm annoyed, they know why. And what's the one symptom that always guessed to you? Cramps, period. Cramps. I definitely get really bad headaches. Like I know sometimes I've even had like temperatures during my period just'cause I get so like. Lightheaded and dizzy so easily. All just awful. Awful. Okay. Something we haven't discussed yet is how different cultures and religions view and celebrate first periods. And I think this is really fascinating because it shows how universal this experience is. Yeah. Like the tradition in our family. Mom, why don't you go ahead and explain that a little. Well, I know I, go ahead. So I think it's in Jewish families, there's this old tradition, certainly a tradition in our family. Where the mother slaps lightly, we'll say her daughter on her face when she gets her first period. My grandmother did it to my mom. My mom did it to me, and I got to do it to both of you. Yeah. I do think it's a Jewish tradition, but I remember being really confused when you did that To me, there are many different beliefs regarding the tradition, but I tend to think of it as the symbolic slap is to. Welcome you to womanhood, which comes with fertility, so you better be careful. Plus the woman's life comes with a lot of pain and unexpected moments. So it's kind of the start of, huh? Get used to this kid. Yeah. I always thought of it as like as a slap in the face and it's like. Boom woman like, yeah, it is. I mean, you did it to me too, but you also immediately gave me a big hug after. It kind of felt weird for a minute, but it was a special kind of moment somehow. Anyone know about any other cultural traditions around first periods? I know there are cultures where they like celebrate a first period openly because it's like, woo hoo, your fuzzy wuzzy was a woman. Now, you know. So communities that look like India, Japan, they hold like coming of age ceremonies for special foods and customs. That sounds way better than hiding it, and maybe even being slapped. Nothing's better than getting to slap you. I want a, I want a celebration. I think that we deserve a celebration. I'll take those special foods. do all cultures view periods positively? Unfortunately, no. In some cultures and religions, there are restrictions placed on menstruating women. They might be considered impure during their periods and restricted from religious participation, cooking, or even touching others. Yeah. I remember learning about in a history class, places where girls are sent to separate huts during their periods. It can be like dangerous and isolating. Yeah. And they can't go to school then. And yeah. Practices like that I believe are illegal, but unfortunately still have been. That seems so unfair and scary. Which is why education is so important. Many of these harmful practices come from misunderstandings about menstruation. Knowledge and open conversation. They help. I think it's important to respect cultural differences while also making sure everyone has accurate information and dignity. Can we talk about pads versus tampon and how there are even other products available now too? Great idea. When I was a kid, we had two options. One bulky pads that felt like a diaper or two cardboard, painful to put in tampons, but now we got pads, which are great starters, thinner, more comfortable than they used to be. Tampons, which are great for swimming and sports in, in my opinion, every day. Menstrual cups, which are eco-friendly. Period. Underwear, which is amazing for sleep or light days for the people who have the pleasure of that being enough fun. Having a light day. Yeah. Yeah. Menstrual discs, which are newer, but similar cups and even period swimwear now. I started with pads and quickly moved to tampons'cause we had gone on vacation in a very nice, warm, tropical place called the Dominican Republic. Almost on my second or third period it was, and of course I wanted to go swimming, so I had to quickly learn. But I sadly sometimes still need pads as a backup on the first day or even night for me. My periods can be really heavy and period. Underwear doesn't always work or isn't as absorbent I just always use tampons. I feel like I've heard like horror stories about people getting like. Shock or something Toxic. Toxic shock syndrome. Toxic shock syndrome from wearing tampons. But I feel like gotta change them. You can change them, it's fine. So yeah, you have to be educated about, and this is why it should be a good, open conversation with, you know, moms and daughters, and you're allowed to figure it out for yourself. I have friends that even after decades of periods, still don't like using tampons. And others who would never not use a tampon. It's up to each person. Mom helped me at first create a starter kit for school when I got my first period. And now that's just like things I bring every day when I have it. So I think we should talk about what goes in that. Yeah, I mean I think everybody should have with them a couple pads or tampons, whichever you prefer. Are both right. A whiteboard two just in case, put'em in a nice little small zip pouch. You don't have to shove a tampon in your sleeve, but you have a cute little, well looks like makeup bag or pencil case. When you go to the bathroom, a spare pair of underwear can hurt and maybe a little love note for mom that says, you got this. I love you. You're a woman now. Yeah. Personally, I always just try to make sure there's a tampon loosely thrown in the bottom of my bag. Every bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting caught without supplies is the worst. The worst, yep. So let's talk about accidents because they unfortunately happen. I have recently bled through my light gray sweatpants at school. I had to tie a sweatshirt around my waist and call my mom to come get me. I feel like I often end up bleeding through my underwear and always just end up like wrapping toilet paper around my underwear and moving on with my dad. Yep. We've all had a moment. I once worked with a woman. This was such, so sad and I felt so bad, but she got up from her chair in a meeting. And there was a clear period stain for all to see left on the chair. She was so embarrassed. I felt terrible, but we women like whi off to the bathroom and then everyone else grabbed black towels and cleaned that chair and swapped it out with another one. So what's much less used? These things happen and I think most women are incredibly understanding. We've all been there. It's usually our own embarrassment. That's the worst part, not other people's reaction. I mean, what I've from learned from that is that to always, always carry back of supplies and dark pants are your best friend during your period. I've learned that there is no harm in always using the highest absorbency product. Always the highest appropriate absorbency, I'd say, because again, toxic shock syndrome is a real thing. Don't wear super plus if you don't need it. Maybe you girls do, but don't. I feel like there's important emergency tips for people that we should talk about. Yes. So one, don't be afraid to ask a friend, teacher, or even a stranger in the bathroom if you need attention. Guidance counselor offices will have in a school too. Yeah. Yep. Nurse or guidance counselor for, so for sure, Eva mentioned early, but in an absolute emergency, toilet paper folded around your underwear, works as a temporary pad. And most public bathrooms have those machines for products. So maybe keeping a quarter or two isn't the worst thing, but those are also really bad old cardboard types that aren't just great. And truth of the matter is there is literally no shame in screaming. Does anyone have a tampon in the middle of a woman's bathroom? Because if someone's in there, they probably do. Yep. Judgment free zone. We've all been there. So here's the truth. Boys need to be part of this conversation too. So do dads, brothers, and teachers, period. Stigma hurts everyone. We all live in this world and we're not helping anyone by keeping half the population in the dark. I think it's a normal thing for boys, especially teenage boys who are younger, always like giggle at the idea of a period as they're five, and they'll make these dramatic grossed out faces. If anyone mentioned a tampon. And that reaction comes from a lack of education. You gotta normalize it at home. Say the word, period. Don't hide your products. Let your partner buy you tampons and demand better in schools. This is health, not taboo. Actually, Maggie, I was super impressed a few weeks ago when you were talking about your period with your boyfriend in the car. It's great that you're so matter of fact, it's healthy and it's normal. He needs to know what I'm gonna complain about it all day too. Yep. I've noticed that guys who grow up with sisters or whose moms talk openly about periods are way more mature about it. It's all about exposure and education. I mean, with living with three girls, dad's actually pretty good about it. He'll pick up supplies at the store without making a big deal of it and he never asked for it. If I say I have cramps or something, yeah, dad's come a long way. When we first got together, he was certainly more awkward, but he made the in effort to get comfortable with it.'cause he is got three women, as you said, even though he still kind of pretends he's worded out by it all. I think schools need, sorry. That's why resources like this podcast matter. If your school or family isn't giving what you need, find other trusted sources. All right ladies, so if we could leave listeners with some final takeaways. Mine would be that periods are natural, not shameful. There's nothing to hide. Yeah, and education equals empowerment. The more you understand your body, the less scary or overwhelming it feels, and no more whispering. The more openly we talk, the less weird it feels and the more normal it becomes for everyone. And if you're confused or overwhelmed, ask questions. Find trusted adults, reliable websites, books. Whatever works for you. Don't stay confused and thanks girls for having this honest and open conversation with me. I know it wasn't necessarily easy and a little bit cringey. And for the audience, if you enjoyed the episode, please share it with a friend, a daughter, a student, or a parent who needs a little help stirring the conversation. Follow us on instagram@iget.it from.my mom. And now on TikTok at elissa_igetitfrommymom and tell us. What's one thing you wish you had known before your first period? We'd love to hear your stories and remember whether you're on day one or day 27, your period is yours and you don't need to apologize for it. We all get them. Even our moms. See you next time, and thank you for listening.